3# The Meanings
Since the day he lost his right leg, everything changed. His mind was messed up, things were like moving up and down… Nothing seemed to be normal for him. Could be described by whatever ways.
His mind had never seemed to be tranquil. He was born over there, but he felt so uneasy. The place was like not meant for him to be. The world… already split into two sides. The world he was, and the world without him.
As usual, James went to the hospital for checkups. With a cap, which tried to cover him up from the others’ view. And also with his backpack, walked slowly with the prosthetics.
“James… Hey James…”
James turned back. He recalled that the guy on the wheelchair who called him was Brian. But he just did not understand that how would Brian knew his name.
“Although you are walking with the prosthetic, but seems that you can walk fast. Not bad man!” Brian said.
“Oh, I’m from Shaffer School’s race society” He added.
James was shocked to hear that. Shaffer School was considered as a prestigious school in his area.
“Ha… It’s not that special as you can imagine…” Brian did not think that his school was special.
After stunning for few seconds, Brian said,
“I got the disease when I was 5…” He spoke with his eyes filled with sorrow.
James could feel the pain too as he also one of the victim of the tragedies.
“Let’s go to the grill house, shall we?” Suddenly Brian asked.
In the restaurant, they got their orders on the table. They are just like everyone else in the restaurant. Just that Brian sat on his wheelchair instead of the chairs over there.
“At the beginning, it was very easy to fall. After that everything seems to be tough.” Brian started to reveal his history.
“The time I began to have difficulties in walking, I started to have interest in running… How should I tell…?”
“Even though I understand that it’s impossible to run like them, and deep inside the sorrow is indescribable. But the sad feeling turns out to be an envy feeling towards people’s ability to run.”
When Brian was young, he always walks to his school’s racetrack. The scene where racers ran in speed was something unattainable for him. He could only watch it at a side.
He was very interested in 100m short races. He could even name all the champion racers in the secondary schools. He finally joined the race society as an assistant.
“Craig Turner, Shawn Johnson, Dave Lee… James Taylor…”
James was shocked when Brian mentioned the champion racers names with his name included.
“I was not the one who won that year!” James claimed.
“Actually I can’t remember who won it that year… But I remember that… You ran faster than anyone else in that race…” Brian replied.
It was just two years after James’s incident. But now he could not tell, whether he had changed compared to the last time. He felt, he had entered to the other phase of his life.
Brian continued… “About that time, finally I can’t walk anymore. Wheelchair is the only choice for me. After a few more years, wheelchair can’t even help.”
James, felt sad to hear his condition.
Brian continue eating his food, seems that he could tell his story when he was eating. “ I will not able to grill food for myself, and I can’t even eat these grilled foods then…”
He stared at James, “ Later I will lost the ability to sit like this. Finally the part which can move will be the muscles on my face and my fingers.”
“Hey James, your food almost scorched.” Brian stopped and said.
Immediately James took his food up from the grill plate and ate the partially burnt chicken meat.
Brian took a sip of cold coke, and said,
“After that, I will die about 20.”
James was totally stunned.
“ So this is the condition I got.” Brian said, and continued eating his food like nothing happened.
“But… but how could you still so relaxed?” James was trying to know why someone who is going to die could still be so chilled out.
“What?” Brian questioned instead.
James looked down at his leg…
“ I… I always… Always have a lots of questions come through my mind. How could this happen? Did I did anything wrong?”
James held his knee, “How could I avoid it? If I safe it earlier, could this leg be saved? Was it because of the doctor? The doctor who said I practiced too much! Was it really unavoidable?”
“ Is this my fate? If it is, my pass life and time that I spent for the race society… Are they all meaningless?” Tears started to flow down from his eyes. James still could not accept the truth.
James went back home, sat in front of the altar, which his late mother’s photo placed with.
“Mum… I’m such a useless people. I complaint to a person whose condition is worse than me. I thought that I would feel better if I told… But I don’t. Whatever, I think that I’m not going to meet him anymore…”
Actually James did not mean to reveal his feelings to Brian. He always wanted to complain. But he won’t do it to his father.
“How could it be meaningless?” James thought back what Brian said to him.
“You should not have that kind of thinking Jim… You haven’t set your target yet, so you should not end your life just like that.” Brian said, when they were walking out from the grill house.
James wiped his tears with his hand. Brian moved in front of him, and touched his right knee.
“You did rotation because you still want to get involved in sports, don’t you?” Brian could read his mind.
“Wait for me at Starbucks at 5 Jim, I want to show you something…”
Brian was already waiting for James when he arrived. James still mind what Brian said to him…
“After that, I will die about 20.”
“Jim, let’s go. It’s just in front of that shop…” Brian guided James to somewhere he wanted, on his wheelchair.
James could not hold his questions anymore, and asked,
“Brian, you don’t afraid? Since you already know that you can still go on for a few years only. How can you stay so strong?”
“Have you been to the roller coaster before Jim?” Brian questioned.
“It’s just about a few minutes when you sit on the roller coaster. Within that few minutes, if you keep on asking yourself, how many minutes, how many seconds remaining… So what’s the point of sitting the roller coaster?”
He looked back at James and added, “If you have that kind of feeling, then you would not know why you were born to this world.”
Words that Brian said to James dragged him out from his questions.
“I do not have time to think about it.” Brian made his conclusion to James’s question.
“If life is so short, then just make it more happening, and fight with it…! But to say fight with it sounds a little bit funny, haha…” Brian added.
They reached at the destination. It was an indoor basketball court.
“You are so damn late Brian!” Said a guy in the court, who was sitting on the wheelchair and playing basketball with a few more of them.
It was Jonathan, who James had met in the hospital. James noticed Jonathan’s right knee. It was the same. Jonathan also did rotation operation at his right leg.
Too be continued...
His mind had never seemed to be tranquil. He was born over there, but he felt so uneasy. The place was like not meant for him to be. The world… already split into two sides. The world he was, and the world without him.
As usual, James went to the hospital for checkups. With a cap, which tried to cover him up from the others’ view. And also with his backpack, walked slowly with the prosthetics.
“James… Hey James…”
James turned back. He recalled that the guy on the wheelchair who called him was Brian. But he just did not understand that how would Brian knew his name.
“Although you are walking with the prosthetic, but seems that you can walk fast. Not bad man!” Brian said.
“Oh, I’m from Shaffer School’s race society” He added.
James was shocked to hear that. Shaffer School was considered as a prestigious school in his area.
“Ha… It’s not that special as you can imagine…” Brian did not think that his school was special.
After stunning for few seconds, Brian said,
“I got the disease when I was 5…” He spoke with his eyes filled with sorrow.
James could feel the pain too as he also one of the victim of the tragedies.
“Let’s go to the grill house, shall we?” Suddenly Brian asked.
In the restaurant, they got their orders on the table. They are just like everyone else in the restaurant. Just that Brian sat on his wheelchair instead of the chairs over there.
“At the beginning, it was very easy to fall. After that everything seems to be tough.” Brian started to reveal his history.
“The time I began to have difficulties in walking, I started to have interest in running… How should I tell…?”
“Even though I understand that it’s impossible to run like them, and deep inside the sorrow is indescribable. But the sad feeling turns out to be an envy feeling towards people’s ability to run.”
When Brian was young, he always walks to his school’s racetrack. The scene where racers ran in speed was something unattainable for him. He could only watch it at a side.
He was very interested in 100m short races. He could even name all the champion racers in the secondary schools. He finally joined the race society as an assistant.
“Craig Turner, Shawn Johnson, Dave Lee… James Taylor…”
James was shocked when Brian mentioned the champion racers names with his name included.
“I was not the one who won that year!” James claimed.
“Actually I can’t remember who won it that year… But I remember that… You ran faster than anyone else in that race…” Brian replied.
It was just two years after James’s incident. But now he could not tell, whether he had changed compared to the last time. He felt, he had entered to the other phase of his life.
Brian continued… “About that time, finally I can’t walk anymore. Wheelchair is the only choice for me. After a few more years, wheelchair can’t even help.”
James, felt sad to hear his condition.
Brian continue eating his food, seems that he could tell his story when he was eating. “ I will not able to grill food for myself, and I can’t even eat these grilled foods then…”
He stared at James, “ Later I will lost the ability to sit like this. Finally the part which can move will be the muscles on my face and my fingers.”
“Hey James, your food almost scorched.” Brian stopped and said.
Immediately James took his food up from the grill plate and ate the partially burnt chicken meat.
Brian took a sip of cold coke, and said,
“After that, I will die about 20.”
James was totally stunned.
“ So this is the condition I got.” Brian said, and continued eating his food like nothing happened.
“But… but how could you still so relaxed?” James was trying to know why someone who is going to die could still be so chilled out.
“What?” Brian questioned instead.
James looked down at his leg…
“ I… I always… Always have a lots of questions come through my mind. How could this happen? Did I did anything wrong?”
James held his knee, “How could I avoid it? If I safe it earlier, could this leg be saved? Was it because of the doctor? The doctor who said I practiced too much! Was it really unavoidable?”
“ Is this my fate? If it is, my pass life and time that I spent for the race society… Are they all meaningless?” Tears started to flow down from his eyes. James still could not accept the truth.
James went back home, sat in front of the altar, which his late mother’s photo placed with.
“Mum… I’m such a useless people. I complaint to a person whose condition is worse than me. I thought that I would feel better if I told… But I don’t. Whatever, I think that I’m not going to meet him anymore…”
Actually James did not mean to reveal his feelings to Brian. He always wanted to complain. But he won’t do it to his father.
“How could it be meaningless?” James thought back what Brian said to him.
“You should not have that kind of thinking Jim… You haven’t set your target yet, so you should not end your life just like that.” Brian said, when they were walking out from the grill house.
James wiped his tears with his hand. Brian moved in front of him, and touched his right knee.
“You did rotation because you still want to get involved in sports, don’t you?” Brian could read his mind.
“Wait for me at Starbucks at 5 Jim, I want to show you something…”
Brian was already waiting for James when he arrived. James still mind what Brian said to him…
“After that, I will die about 20.”
“Jim, let’s go. It’s just in front of that shop…” Brian guided James to somewhere he wanted, on his wheelchair.
James could not hold his questions anymore, and asked,
“Brian, you don’t afraid? Since you already know that you can still go on for a few years only. How can you stay so strong?”
“Have you been to the roller coaster before Jim?” Brian questioned.
“It’s just about a few minutes when you sit on the roller coaster. Within that few minutes, if you keep on asking yourself, how many minutes, how many seconds remaining… So what’s the point of sitting the roller coaster?”
He looked back at James and added, “If you have that kind of feeling, then you would not know why you were born to this world.”
Words that Brian said to James dragged him out from his questions.
“I do not have time to think about it.” Brian made his conclusion to James’s question.
“If life is so short, then just make it more happening, and fight with it…! But to say fight with it sounds a little bit funny, haha…” Brian added.
They reached at the destination. It was an indoor basketball court.
“You are so damn late Brian!” Said a guy in the court, who was sitting on the wheelchair and playing basketball with a few more of them.
It was Jonathan, who James had met in the hospital. James noticed Jonathan’s right knee. It was the same. Jonathan also did rotation operation at his right leg.
Too be continued...
posted by Mike at 01:13
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